Poems About Betrayal – Part 3. Firenut

Firenut

(An Unconventional Lullaby)




I keep vigil, the rampant drowsiness tortures me.

I know, if I sleep into hatred,

no Lazarus-call will awaken me.

So I keep vigil, this night’s dire challenge terrifies me.


I’m embedded between forgiveness-remedy and

hatred-clemency, this is the vigil’s claustrophobia.

Neither here, nor there, in a circle of perplexity.

I can hear the lullaby of a wraith’s insomnia.


I keep vigil, the rampant drowsiness tortures me.

I don’t know, if I sleep into forgiveness,

whether a Sunday’s angel-call will resurrect me.

So I keep vigil, this night’s dire challenge terrifies me.


I shut my eye in sheer terror,

I choose, cannot keep the peeking up.

I let forgiveness consume me forever.

I’m swallowed up wholly by the firenut.


They said, forgiveness is a velvety nightcap,

a shiny relief, pink spark of wit, a gift wrap.

But noone said that it burns like wrath,

that it mills like acid and tastes like crap.


Noone said this dumpling was scorching:

incinerates all the bad, but then starts all over again.

Noone said the firenut was gyratory, round-about, cyclic,

noone said, once you’re started, it’s an unstoppable train.


I swallowed the firenut as a sleepy-head,

I’m digesting lava, I’m dreaming hell – infrared.

Even forgiveness has a cost: giving up myself in a nutshell,

giving birth to a new me with every blazing blood cell.

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